
Today, Life Is Different
My veins are blue from toes to fingers
A series of questions to the Muse about what unsettled her this week (a foolish friend's match-strike comment, a picture book left open, a half-heard preacher, an iridescent insect in the rose-scented garden), pivoting into the speaker's own admission that her restless becoming bugs him into striving for what he once believed he could never be, and closing with love defined as shared unsettling, gentle stings of iridescent wings in rose-scented gardens of becoming.
The poem opens as a small interview, the speaker turning toward the Muse and asking what she has learned this week. “Something new, / something old returned with new clarity, / an insight flashing / where nothing once seemed strange.” The four-line opening question functions as a gentle taxonomy of learning: a new thing acquired, an old thing recovered, or an insight that catches the ordinary by surprise. Each option is offered without insistence; the speaker is curious, not interrogating.
The catalog of possible sources that follows is the poem’s structural method. A foolish friend whose offhanded comment struck a match and walked away. A picture book left open. A preacher half-heard. An iridescent insect glinting in a rose-scented garden. Each source is rendered with one or two details that give it life: the friend who didn’t know what he set on fire, the preacher heard only partially, the insect that asks “only that you notice.” The catalog argues, by accumulation, that learning is not the property of scholars. It comes from foolish friends, half-attended sermons, and small bright creatures in gardens.
“Have you been attentive— / lived the fabric of this day, / while still looking outward, / allowing yourself / to be touched?” pivots the questioning into philosophical register. Attention is not just inward-facing inventory; it requires the outward gaze and the willingness to be touched by what’s seen. The phrase “lived the fabric of this day” is the poem’s most condensed instruction: not lived through the day, not lived during it, but lived the texture of it, the cloth of which the hours are made.
The verse that follows poses the poem’s central question: “What will inspire you, / spur you into motion, / if nothing ever bothers you?” The argument is contrarian. Ease produces no movement. Without irritation, the speaker says, the inner life stalls. The poem’s title is here being defined: being bugged is not just suffered; it is required.
“When I’m with you, / I try not to be one of your bugs, / yet this failure’s itch / remains mine alone” is the speaker’s most self-aware moment. He admits the contradiction. He doesn’t want to irritate her, and yet he hopes to, since being bugged is what produces becoming. The “failure’s itch” is the part of him that worries about being a nuisance, and the itch is his alone to carry.
“What unsettles you, / allow me to probe it— / draw out the insight, / the truth / resting just inside” is the speaker’s offer to serve the Muse’s bugged moments rather than create them. He wants to be the one who helps her extract the wisdom from her irritations, not the irritation itself.
The pivot in the next stanza reverses the dynamic: “Because your beauty— / your restless becoming— / bugs me into striving / for what I once believed / I could never be.” She bugs him into becoming. The catalog has been making versions of this argument since “Catalyst” and “The Future” (the Muse as the agent of the speaker’s transformation), and here the transformation is named without metaphor. He is striving for what he once believed he could never be, and the striving is generated by her unsettling presence.
“You are my sparking ember, / pushing me for perfection— / one step closer / than I ever thought I’d come” extends the bug metaphor into fire. The ember is what was left after the friend’s match struck and walked away. The match started something; the ember keeps it going. The Muse is the ongoing combustion the original spark required.
The closing definition is the poem’s structural payoff: “What is love / if not this shared / unsettling— / gentle stings / of iridescent wings / in rose-scented gardens of becoming.” Love is defined not as comfort but as mutual disturbance. The gentle stings are the kind that don’t wound but mobilize. The iridescent wings recall the beetle in the speaker’s earlier catalog, the small bright creature that asked only to be noticed. And the rose-scented garden of becoming is the place where the stings happen, the location where two people are simultaneously in flux.
“Thoughtfully stirred / today, / unafraid / to bug you still” is the closing signature, the speaker signing off with a small joke that doesn’t undo the poem’s seriousness. He has been stirred (thoughtfully, not violently); he is not afraid to keep being a bug; the bugging is his offering.
The poem’s contribution to the catalog is its definition of love as shared unsettling rather than mutual comfort. Most love poems argue for the lover’s peace; this one argues that peace would be its own kind of death. The catalog has been edging toward this position for years (in the lightning-strike poems, in “The Future” with its prison of accepted normal, in “Self-rejected” from “Sunrise”), and “What Bugs You?” delivers the principle as a working definition: love is “this shared unsettling—gentle stings of iridescent wings.” The phrase deserves to enter the catalog’s permanent vocabulary.
The catalog of possible sources of learning is the poem’s structural method, and the method is generous. Wisdom comes from foolish friends, half-attended sermons, picture books left open, and small bright insects in gardens. The democratization is the argument: nothing the speaker lists is a typical authority. Each is small, ordinary, easily missed. The reader is invited to consider that the week’s most important lesson might have arrived through a channel she wouldn’t have credited as a source.
The “lived the fabric of this day” phrase is the poem’s quietest accomplishment. “Lived the fabric” rather than “lived through the day” is a small grammatical shift that produces a large conceptual one. The fabric is woven; living the fabric means inhabiting the texture, not just passing through the hours. The reader is asked to consider whether she has lived this day’s weave or merely endured its duration. Few of the catalog’s poems carry an instruction this useful in five words.
The match-struck-and-walked-away image, given to the foolish friend, is one of the most economical depictions of accidental wisdom in the catalog. The friend doesn’t know what he started; the friend walks away while it’s still burning. The speaker (and presumably the Muse) is left with the small fire the friend ignited without intention. The image acknowledges a fact most poems about teachers ignore: the people who change us are often unaware they did, and the change happens after they’ve left the room.
The bug-into-fire transition is the poem’s structural triumph. The bugs of the title become the spark of the foolish friend’s match become the ongoing ember of the Muse’s unsettling presence. The progression (bug to match to ember) traces a single line from small irritation to permanent combustion, and the line is drawn without strain. The poem is teaching the reader how its central metaphor operates by quietly extending it across the entire piece.
The closing definition (love as shared unsettling, gentle stings, iridescent wings, rose-scented gardens of becoming) is the kind of closing that earns the poem’s place. Every image in the closing has been planted earlier (the iridescent insect, the rose-scented garden, the bug, the sting), and the closing braids them into a definition that wouldn’t have worked without the prior planting. The poem does the structural work most poems claim to do but rarely accomplish: building the closing’s resonance through the body of the piece rather than asking the closing to do the work alone.
Where the poem stays in observational register rather than fully reciprocal is in the absence of a specific moment from the speaker’s own week. The Muse is asked what bugged her; the speaker doesn’t quite return the question with his own account. A single sentence about what bugged him this week, what foolish friend or half-heard preacher, would have made the exchange two-way and given the reader a window onto the speaker’s own current insect. But the asymmetry may be the catalog’s standard mode: the poems are usually offerings to the Muse, not exchanges with her, and “What Bugs You?” is consistent with that pattern even when its title invites two-way traffic.
A poem that proves love isn’t the absence of irritation; it’s the presence of the right kind.
Did you learn something this week—
something new,
something old returned with new clarity,
an insight flashing
where nothing once seemed strange.
Was it a foolish friend,
offhanded and unaware,
whose single comment
struck a match
and walked away?
Maybe it was
the picture book left open,
or the preacher half‑heard,
grabbing your imagination
when you least expected
to be caught at all.
Or perhaps
a curious moment:
an iridescent insect
glinting softly
in your rose‑scented garden,
asking only that you notice.
Have you been attentive—
lived the fabric of this day,
while still looking outward,
allowing yourself
to be touched?
What will inspire you,
spur you into motion,
if nothing ever bothers you?
When I’m with you,
I try not to be one of your bugs,
yet this failure’s itch
remains mine alone.
What unsettles you,
allow me to probe it—
draw out the insight,
the truth
resting just inside.
Because your beauty—
your restless becoming—
bugs me into striving
for what I once believed
I could never be.
You are my sparking ember,
pushing me for perfection—
one step closer
than I ever thought I’d come.
What is love
if not this shared
unsettling—
gentle stings
of iridescent wings
in rose-scented gardens of becoming.
Thoughtfully stirred
today,
unafraid
to bug you still







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