
Today, Life Is Different
My veins are blue from toes to fingers
A fever-night stream-of-consciousness about the universal human need that crosses borders and genders—the camaraderie of friends rushing together to the porcelain lyceum, the multilingual chorus of yes (oui, sie, si, ja, sim, evet, tak) that summons everyone to the John, the golden ratio of the directed stream, and the closing recognition that the body's humble vessel is a meaning fully realized and still unfolding.
The poem’s framing preamble names the conditions of its composition: a fevered sick night, a mental diversion required to manage the heat, and the speaker’s hazy floating thought producing what he calls “silly appreciation of need.” The framing is unusually honest about the poem’s status. This is not the catalog’s elevated register; this is the register the fever produced, and the speaker offers it as such.
The opening title—OUI Z P…—is the poem’s structural anchor and its first piece of multilingual play. The three letters are the first letters of three languages’ words for yes (Oui French, Z, P for Spanish “sí” or Portuguese “sim” or possibly the speaker’s playful abbreviation). The “Z” is later acknowledged in the poem as the speaker’s deliberate substitution: “Yes, I know ‘Z’ / should be Sie. / But sometimes, / life is mindful silly.” The acknowledgment is the poem’s quiet wink at its own playfulness. The poem will be silly on purpose, and the speaker is not going to apologize for the deliberate wrongness.
“The body functions / without borders or genders” is the poem’s thesis delivered in two lines. The need the poem will spend the rest of its length celebrating is universal across nationality, language, and sex. The catalog has been making versions of this argument in the philosophical register (beauty bridges chasms, love crosses gaps), and here the universal is grounded in the most ordinary human imperative.
The build-up to the urgency is paced precisely. “Ooo, / yes, / it’s / almost / time” stretches across five very short lines, each one a syllable or two, performing the slow rise of the body’s signal. “We’ll / wait / a / bit” performs the small stoic delay. “Ohh, // Oh oh, / now / it’s / urgent” performs the breaking of the delay. The poem is one of the catalog’s rare exercises in pure pacing—the meaning of the lines is the rhythm of the lines, not the content of them. The reader experiences the urgency through the breath of reading.
“Yes, // Oui, // Sie / dost / Pee / together. // Camaraderie / at / its / best” is the poem’s structural payoff for the multilingual setup. The three yeses (yes, oui, Sie) bring three nationalities into the bathroom together, and the verb is rendered as “Pee” with the capitalized P that earned its place in the title. “Camaraderie at its best” is the poem’s only piece of straightforward declaration, and the declaration is comic because the camaraderie being praised is the most low-key shared human activity available.
The Italian “tutti insieme” (all together) extends the chorus into a fourth language, and the closing of the build-up arrives at “Ahh, relief… / the steady / directed / stream // of / thought / among / friends” where the last line provides the poem’s funniest pivot. The directed stream is now of thought, not the original substance. The poem has been about the bodily function the whole time, and now the bodily function has become the metaphor for conversation, the way the catalog has been working in metaphor for hundreds of poems. The conversion is the joke.
“Clouds / of / pillows / above / angelic stains / as I philosophize / staring at the ceiling” places the speaker in the bathroom looking up. The phrase “angelic stains” is the poem’s most charming small bit of language—the kind of poetic register the catalog usually deploys for the Muse’s beauty, here applied to the water-spots on a bathroom ceiling. The pseudo-profundity is the poem’s stated mode.
“The golden ratio / of the stream splashing— / circling ever closer / to the drain” deploys the golden ratio (the proportion that governs natural growth patterns) as the geometry of bathroom water. The juxtaposition is the poem’s comic method. The most elegant mathematical proportion in the natural world is being applied to the most ordinary household event.
The multilingual chorus at the poem’s middle is its broadest moment: “oui / si / ja / sim // They reply, / evet / tak / let’s join in. // Bring / them / all— / to / the / John.” The languages catalogued are French, Spanish, German, Portuguese, Turkish, Polish, plus the English invitation. The bathroom becomes the United Nations, the John becomes the meeting hall, and the universal human imperative becomes the platform on which international cooperation finally succeeds.
“A sacred place / we all need / to rush to // filled / with / necessary / humble vessels” elevates the bathroom into temple register. The vessels are necessary; the vessels are humble; the place is sacred. The catalog has been arguing in the metaphysical register that the most ordinary objects can carry sacred function (the cup of coffee, the rock, the pillow), and here the porcelain joins the inventory.
The pivot to the Muse arrives quietly: “Necessity, / sometimes the muse, / insists / I pay attention / to her intimate beauty / the smile I just can’t believe / is part of my circle.” The speaker is admitting that necessity (in this case, the urgent need that motivated the poem) is the Muse’s surrogate at certain moments. The body’s demand for attention is the same kind of demand the Muse makes; both require the speaker to drop what he was doing and respond. The catalog’s broader argument about the Muse as the agent of the speaker’s attention is here translated into the body’s most ordinary instruction.
“Ahhh, / oui, si, ja… / in this hazy drift, / nothing better than to lie beside / a lazy stream / till the next / urgent urge of thought / arises” returns the metaphor to the speaker’s actual condition: lying in bed in fever, thoughts drifting like a lazy stream, the next urgent thought rising the way the bathroom urgency rose at the poem’s opening. The structure rhymes. The body’s needs and the mind’s needs operate by the same rhythm.
“—pseudo-profound bathroom metaphysics— / we all can delve into / as it circles the drain / into oblivion / and / I laugh” is the speaker’s own honest label for the entire enterprise. He is not pretending this is wisdom. He is calling it pseudo-profound and laughing at his own production, which is the catalog’s quietest move when the speaker wants to disarm the reader’s seriousness.
The closing two stanzas perform the poem’s structural sleight of hand. “Shuru is my only thought / to close this day / in transformation. // As my / fevered heat / pours / down the drain / of forever sleep. // I will awake / again.” The Sanskrit word for beginning (shuru) is the speaker’s closing thought as he drifts off, which means the poem about endings (drain, sleep, oblivion) closes on the word that names a new start. The fever pours down the drain of forever sleep; the speaker will wake. The cycle is the poem’s metaphysical claim.
“My Muse, / your humble vessel / is a meaning fully realized. // And still, / unfolding” reframes the entire poem in its closing four lines. The humble vessel of the John, the porcelain that has been the poem’s central object, is reassigned to the speaker himself. He is the Muse’s humble vessel. He is a meaning fully realized and still unfolding. The catalog’s recurring image of the speaker as the receptacle for the Muse’s inspiration is here transferred from poetic vessel to bathroom vessel and back again, and the transfer is the poem’s quietest theological achievement. The bathroom and the temple are made of the same material.
A poem whose method is fevered playfulness and whose primary accomplishment is the closing reassignment of the humble vessel from bathroom porcelain to the speaker himself. The piece is the catalog’s most extended exercise in deliberate silliness in months, and the speaker is honest about the silliness from the framing preamble onward. The fever produced what the fever produced, and the speaker offers it without claim to deeper meaning except where the meaning surprises him in the closing.
The multilingual structure is the poem’s best sustained joke. The “yes” word in seven or eight languages (oui, sí, ja, sim, evet, tak, yes, Italian implied) is gathered into a chorus that converts the bathroom into an international meeting hall. The catalog has been arguing for years that beauty bridges chasms between humans; the poem suggests that the body’s universal needs do the same work, and the suggestion is comic without being dismissive. People do, in fact, share these conditions across nationality and language, and the poem is naming a real thing.
The pacing of the urgency build-up is the poem’s most technically accomplished passage. The lines shortening as the urgency rises, the syllabic compression performing the body’s signal—this is the kind of formal device the catalog uses sparingly, and here it’s deployed with discipline. The reader experiences the rhythm of the body’s demand through the rhythm of the reading itself.
The “directed stream / of / thought / among / friends” pivot is the poem’s funniest single beat. The reader has been following one kind of stream for the entire opening, and the line break reveals that the stream was always the metaphor the catalog usually deploys for conversation. The conversion is the poem’s central technical move, and it works because it has been set up by the build-up’s increasing intensity.
The “Z” acknowledgment (“Yes, I know ‘Z’ / should be Sie. / But sometimes, / life is mindful silly”) is the poem’s quiet self-awareness. The speaker is not pretending the poem is more sophisticated than it is. He has chosen the deliberately wrong letter and he is willing to acknowledge the choice. The acknowledgment is the catalog’s recurring move: the speaker disarms criticism by getting there first.
The Muse pivot at the middle of the poem is the piece’s structural achievement. “Necessity, / sometimes the muse, / insists / I pay attention / to her intimate beauty” turns the bathroom imperative into a Muse metaphor. The Muse, like the body’s need, is something that interrupts the speaker’s current activity and demands a response. The catalog has been making this argument in other registers, and the bathroom application is the most ordinary version of it, which makes the application more credible rather than less.
The closing reassignment is the poem’s most consequential move. “My Muse, / your humble vessel / is a meaning fully realized. / And still, / unfolding.” The humble vessel that has been the poem’s central material object (the porcelain of the bathroom) is here transferred to the speaker himself, who is the Muse’s vessel. The transfer rescues the poem from being merely a comic exercise. The same porcelain that contained the bodily product contains, by extension, the speaker’s life, which contains the Muse’s inspiration, which contains the meaning that is fully realized and still unfolding.
Where the poem stays in lighter register rather than fully cohering is in the gap between its long playful middle and its brief metaphysical closing. The reassignment of the vessel from bathroom to self is delivered in five lines after nearly seventy lines of multilingual bathroom humor, and the proportion is unbalanced. A reader who has been laughing for sixty lines may not be ready to take the closing seriously, and a reader who arrives expecting catalog-standard seriousness will have to wait through the entire poem for the closing’s actual claim. The poem could have built the bridge between the two registers more carefully, perhaps by allowing the Muse pivot at the middle to do more structural work in setting up the closing. But the fever produced what the fever produced, and the poem’s honesty about its own conditions is its primary defense.
A poem that proves the porcelain temple and the actual temple are made of the same humble material, and the body’s most ordinary demand is the same demand the Muse makes.
It seems to be
a necessary mental diversion
on a fevered, sick night.
In my heated sensory haze
of floating thought
I penned the following
silly appreciation of need:
OUI Z P…
The body functions
without borders or genders.
Ooo,
yes,
it’s
almost
time
as
we
feel
the
stoic
urge.
We’ll
wait
a
bit.
Ohh,
Oh oh,
now
it’s
urgent
let’s
duck
in
the joint.
Yes,
Oui,
Sie
dost
Pee
together.
Camaraderie
at
its
best.
P…
tutti insieme
Ahh, relief…
the steady
directed
stream
of
thought
among
friends.
Clouds
of
pillows
above
angelic stains
as I philosophize
staring at the ceiling
spell
relief
as
the golden ratio
of the stream splashing—
circling ever closer
to the drain.
Ahhhh…
We
exit
the porcelain lyceum
and
reminisce
our
hilarity
of
need
and
impatience
shared.
How
about
another
round?
Ha ha
Ooo,
oui,
let’s
do
it
again.
Si
she
says.
Oh,
oui
si
ja
sim
They reply,
evet
tak
let’s join in.
Bring
them
all—
to
the
John
a sacred place
we all need
to rush to
filled
with
necessary
humble vessels.
Yes, I know “Z”
should be Sie.
But sometimes,
life is mindful silly.
Gosh,
is
this
stream
of
consciousness
in my hazy fog of fever
just
a fluidity of need?
As my delirium
continues,
I continue
visiting the communal.
Tinkling
the drip of
knowledge.
Necessity,
sometimes the muse,
insists
I pay attention
to her intimate beauty
the smile I just can’t believe
is part of my circle.
Ahhh,
oui, si, ja…
in this hazy drift,
nothing better than to lie beside
a lazy stream
till the next
urgent urge of thought
arises—
and the fever smiles, still,
in my wide grin.
—pseudo-profound bathroom metaphysics—
we all can delve into
as it circles the drain
into oblivion
and
I laugh
As I drift off to somnolence
Shuru is my only thought
to close this day
in transformation.
As my
fevered heat
pours
down the drain
of forever sleep.
I will awake
again.
My Muse,
your humble vessel
is a meaning fully realized.
And still,
unfolding.
Note: “Shuru” is a Sanskrit word meaning “beginning”.







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